Place

Sometimes it can be dark in this place. It's hard to see where you might turn. It gets really foggy. Other times it's like being in the middle of the ocean with everyone else spectating from high above, looking down as you struggle to stay afloat. A lot of the time you wear a mask in a play, you're not the main character and you don't really have a role, if you take off your mask then whole play could be ruined when the audience see who you really are.

Are social networks really social?

I hate the idea of blogs, I mean I can see why they are beneficial if you're looking for employment and can point people in the direction of your new blog to gloat how good you are. But I hate the fact that they can be so public, even the most innocent of admissions can in effect be read by the whole world.

So why am I writing this?

Whilst in a moment of boredom I decided to google certain people from back at home, not necessarily to find out anything interesting but just more out of curiosity. I didnt really find anything in google, but i found myself browsing Bebo one of the many social networking sights. I'm not a member there so didn't think i'd get very far but worryingly I did. I was able to get onto total strangers pages as well as the pages of people I knew. How could I not read on, what are they doing, where do they live etc. The list is endless and totally nosey of me, a blatant invasion of their space uninvited.

So then the disturbing part came when I wondered if someone who I had never met but who had caused me so much pain in the past was on there. She was.

So, did I find anything interesting or distastful? No not really! Did I want to? Possibly! Should I have the right to? No!

The point of this is, people are interested in people. We're interested in our ex's and we're interested in our ex's ex's and our ex's new other halfs! We're interested in the people we once loved and never had, we're interested in the people we love and we're even interested in people we have never met and never will.

As much as the internet is an amazing source of information and a way of keeping in touch with friends and family it is also a huge violation of privacy. Who has the right to actively seek out information on other people? I'm writing this knowing full well that anybody can read it. I could so easily rant about anything, I could make accusations and fabricate truths; I could so easily and yet so innocently endanger myself and other people by a casual slip of the fingers; whether its something personal to me or an opinion on national importance.

When you talk to your friends about other people or something personal you keep your voice down, make sure no one else can hear - when you 'talk' on the net keep your voice down, you don't know whose listening.

Doubt...

The decision to leave Chester was a big one, I'm not going to deny that. I knew I'd be unhappy if I stayed, but why am I finding the absence of it more and more distressing? The people I lived with were undeniably amazing, I couldn't of asked for a better bunch of people; I know this because I did spend the first month in a halls where I really would of gone mad!! I enjoyed my time in Chester, I can see that now; but as my boyfriend put it, perhaps I'm missing the time period more than the place and the Uni. All my housemates bar Fresher Jo were postgrads and so moving on anyway - would Chester be the same without them there? Who would I have lived with? Would I feel more comfortable with the person I am in a place that sometimes made me feel so cold? One of my biggest mistakes when starting at Chester was desperately clinging on to what I had at home, a romance that never existed and I think that this may have hindered my over all fulfillment there. I would never of met my boyfriend had I stayed in Chester - in fact with a 7:1 girl:boy ratio I'd of never met anyone of the male variety!!

The course here in Falmouth is at the moment leaving me with a feeling of self doubt, mainly because I can't see how I can tailor it to Public Relations, making me reassess my choices over the last year! Still there are some aspects that I am enjoying, predominently my Photography module, allowing my creative side to come through. I keep thinking I should of gone down the artistic route when I was 17 and got accepted into Plymouth Art College. I wonder how different things would be...a fatal thought!!

Here and Now

Having successfully transferred from the University of Chester where I was studying International Development and Communication Studies I am going straight into year 2 of the Journalism course. I am a little apprehensive about what lies ahead, mainly because I haven't studied Journalism before. I hope to tailor my time at Falmouth towards Public Relations where I endevour to find future employment in an area I have always enjoyed.

Despite my concerns I feel more or less comfortable with my decision to transfer and know I have the support of the people around me.